Sunday, December 19, 2010

Clearing the Cobwebs

Wow, it's been a really long time since I've been here. *whistles through teeth* Lots of cobwebs to clear, lots of... life... to catch up on. And, like any ghost town, nobody to tell it to. That part, at least, is of little matter. It would be nice to get it all out anyway.

Much has changed, and much has not. As I type now, I've moved to another state. Instead of being just a ways outside of Boston, I'm now a ways outside of New York City.... well, for at least the past two days now. Somehow, I find that I come here and talk when I happen to be at a low point, when I feel that I can't talk to anybody else. True? Hmmm, I'm guessing yes. And tonight is one of those nights. But that's neither here nor there.

Life has been much the way that it was since I was here last, apart from the move. Still dissatisfied with what I was before? Yes, even more so. I've asked for him to let me go and he's said no. The move hasn't really improved anything. Distracted? Yes. Improved? No. Another distraction that actually helped was Burning Man. For two years, I prepped in hopes that I could go and I finally made it this past burn. After coming home a changed person, there was nothing to distract me any longer from what my life had become. Nothing had changed, but that I'd grown two years older and two more years of dissatisfaction lay naked in front of me for me to finally see with new eyes. Again, keep in mind that I'm only here because I've nothing else to distract me from what is or isn't going on in my life. Much of my life is very positive and I tend to be a happy person in general, but, at night, when things start looking their darkest, perhaps I can be more introspective and honest.

Well, enough of that. It's not helping things right now anyway, so best to let it slide. In these times, it's good to keep your good friends close... so, in typical post-move fashion, I've sorted through my friends... the ones that I can count on, and the less than reliable ones... and give the ones whose friendship is uneven the boot. Hasta la vista, babies! But seriously, I've moved enough to know that it's right on schedule. What happens next is yet to be seen. I've no friends here yet and hardly know my way around. I'm a little lost here. Perhaps soon it will work itself out. Perhaps.