Thursday, July 5, 2007

Summer again. Great.

If you don't want to read about sex-type stuff, then this isn't the post for you. Sorry, I'm just in that type of mood today and sometimes you just need an outlet. If you find this kind of thing to be offensive or don't want to ruin the pristine image of me, then maybe you should just stop here. Just thought I'd mention it.


"Did you do those today?" The Mister looked more closely at the kitchen counter.

"Yes," I coyly answered. "I wanted to see if I could still do it."

"Um, why?" The Mister sounded a little suspicious. Oh, sheesh.

We all know what tying a cherry stem in your mouth is rumored to signify, but I don't know what the fuss is all about. They're only cherry stems and I don't know how it could possibly mean anything. But I must confess the truth: warm weather gets me thinking about sex. Of course, I can't really blog about it because The Mister very clearly spelled out that he doesn't want to read about any exes (I don't blame him) and I don't think that he wants to broadcast our own business on the internet (especially in front of my mother, Egads!).

Still, as the temperature starts to rise the heat triggers memories of older days kind of like the way that smells trigger memories. Temperatures increase, clothing decreases, skin wears a thin layer of dewy sweat (this is the nicer version of ewwwy sweat and infinitely more sexy), and bodies become more languid in the heat. Now I watch passively as others go through the whole rituals of seduction and attraction. They participate in the hunt and they get to feel the spark of chemical attraction, to experience the thrill of that first touch or being able to finally get the chance to breathe in the intoxicating scent off the skin of a new lover's neck.

This kind of stuff is for other people now, but, like a phantom limb, my libido surges forth in the warm weather and brings back distant memories of when it was my constant companion, best friend, and worst enemy. If love is a battlefield then lust must be a four-star General. There will be no more battles for me these days, but it's nice to know that I still know some of the maneuvers.

Hee hee.

20 comments:

  1. we did the unwrapping of a starburtst(tm) candy in your mouth, because they were pretty much glued shut. advanced level starburst(tm) stripping, however, progressed to creating origami with said wrapper in your mouth (e.g. paper airplanes).

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  2. Nice Pat Benatar reference there :) There definitely is something about summer that sets the libido free.

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  3. You got me reminiscing about summer trysts, mmm.

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  4. Temperatures increase, clothing decreases. I love summer! :)

    Any cherries left?

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  5. This doesn't ruin some pristine image of you, it presents a more complete image of you. Good stuff. Yes, the warm temps definitely open memories and lead to some heat in the present.

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  6. alex-

    Starburst and origami, eh? You young folk are way too advanced and y'all would be wiping up the floor with me and my whimpy little fruit stems. ;)

    thanks for stopping by.

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    thisisme-

    It's nice that someone remembers that song. Ah, summer... I think that it's definitely the lack of clothing. Hee, hee.

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    monicker-

    Those are, without a doubt, the absolute best.

    Sigh. I love summer (she says dreamily).

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    dan-

    Summer (and the subsequent scant clothing) kicks butt, no question about it.

    We have a few left, but the best stems are gone (hee hee). Care for a pit spitting contest? ;)

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    bernie-

    My mom reads this, so she should at least have some fair warning. It's nothing that will shock her, but still...

    Anyway, it's a huge part of who I am and summer is the absolute best for these kind of memories. I just go feral in summer. ;)

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  7. I like you for about 72 reasons, and this post is one of them. I was just noting last night to my groom that July, in particular, has been our high-sex month, traditionally.

    We kept the tally rising, too.

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  8. jocelyn-

    Yay, let's hear it for sex weather!!! You're right about July. Once it gets to August, to quote Ella Fitzgerald et al., "it's too darn hot." Or is it? Nah, I think it's all pretty darn great. ;)

    iuiu8 (<----- funny aside, this is what came up from smashing a bug on the keyboard just now.)

    Anyway, 72? I like you for way more reasons than that.

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  9. jocelyn-

    That didn't sound right, 'cause that's scores more reasons than I would have guessed being liked for. You my dear are awesome for countless reasons. There, that's better.

    Here's wishing you luck in upping the quota. Warmer weather is headed our way. ;)

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  10. I could never do the cherry stem thing, no matter how hard I tried. Oh well,it's all for the best. After all, it's a little too hot here to even hold hands.

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  11. I only think about sex on special days, like days when it rains or not.

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  12. Summer does bring out...libido related thoughts and actions. How's that for discreet! LOL The hot sun on your skin, more skin exposed, more time floating in the water....

    Sorry, I drifted off there for a moment

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  13. Aha... I hadn't been marking the calendar or anything, but this explains EVERYTHING! Yeah, it's a summer thing ;)

    (BTW, I always thought the cherry stem thing was a bar trick. I assumed an already-tied stem was placed in the mouth prior. Now I'm impressed).

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  14. I totally agree... I want a summer romance. Haha... Cheesy but true. :)

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  15. Summer makes me less interested in sex.
    Spring time is when I begin to prowl. Being too hot makes me want to sit... alone... and do nothing.

    You should blog about sex more often.

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  16. liz-

    It's just a silly bar trick, really. From what I've seen and read, I'm sure that you were able to make an impression without all the silly tricks. ;)

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    furious-

    We're total opposites. I only think about sex when it's sunny or not. ;)

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    em-

    Yep. One of the things that makes warm weather so great is that it allows you socially acceptable opportunities to get wet in public. Hee, hee.

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    tammie jean-

    It happens every year and I am sooooo aware of it. Ugh!

    The cherry stem thing is not a myth. I'll remember to put it on the top of my resume if I ever change my career, though I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't want a job where that talent is what gets me hired. ;)

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    erica-

    Summer romances are the best, bar none! Good luck with gettin' some summer lovin'. ;)

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  17. blondie-

    Funny that you should mention spring. When I lived in Philly, it was like the whole city was in heat as soon as the buds came out on the trees and you could hear the air crackling with sexual tension. It was really wierd!

    As for blogging about sex more, I might just do that so that I can think about sex 75% of the time instead of just 50%. ;)

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  18. Oops, typo. I really can spell "weird".

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  19. I never heard about cherry stems, further proof that I grew up on another planet.

    Why was I never told about this?

    I remember sex... er, summer. Vaguely.

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  20. Maybe you didn't hang out in as many bars as I did. Apparently, it's supposed to indicate one's, um, fellating proficiency. How silly, but it seems to entertain the guys.

    Ah, yes, summer... memories. Hazy, but still there. ;)

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