Monday, March 19, 2007

A Night at the Movies

I saw the movie "The Lives of Others" with a JP and Sasha this weekend and I'll have to say that I'm still thinking about it. If you're not familiar with the film, it's a German movie about a German secret police wiretapper/interrogator in 1984 East Berlin who is ordered to wiretap and eavesdrop on a couple, a high profile author/playwright and his actress girlfriend. The movie got all sorts of awards internationally, including the Best Foreign Film Oscar this year. Rightfully so, I think.

Still, when I see movies or hear stories about these kind of activities of paranoid and controlling governments, it makes me perhaps a little more uncomfortable than it might make others around me because it hits sort of close to home. This movie got me thinking about what my mother went through as a child in the Baltics in Europe.

My grandparents had an apartment in the capital city where they lived much of the time, but they also spent time out in the country on the family farms. My grandfather's and grandmother's family farms were near to each other and they had known each other since grammar school, which is where they met (apparently my grandfather used to dip my grandmother's pigtails in the inkwells). After my grandmother and grandfather both finished college, they got married in 1928. Since my grandfather's early life had been centered around agriculture, he went to school to study dairy bacteriology and went to England to get his master's degree. Unfortunately, World War II intervened and he had to leave the country to go home before he could defend his thesis, so the actual degree was never received even though he did all of his work and research.

When the Germans came and occupied my mother's country, my grandfather spent time in a prison camp because he was educated in England, but one of my grandmother's brothers was able to convince them that they had no reason to suspect him of anything subversive and win my grandfather's release (apparently, this great uncle was a pretty respected member of the military and could use his influence effectively).

The Russians also occupied their country and, because my grandfather had studied abroad and was considered a possible threat, the Russians had a KGB agent living in the house with them as a "precaution". Of course, the woman whom they'd placed there couldn't be there all the time, so she would have "talks" with my mother about who had come over when the agent wasn't able to be there and what they'd talked about. My mother was four years old at the time.

One summer day during the Russian occupation, they were at my grandmother's farm when the Russians came and took all the neighbors from the nearby farms away in buses, but by some stroke of luck or fate they didn't go to my grandmother's farm. My mother said that they saw the bus hesitate at the end of the long drive to the farm and then drive away. They're not sure what happened to the neighbors or why the Russians didn't come to take them away, too, but after sleeping in the woods during the night for a time in case of a nighttime raid, they finally packed up a horse cart with all they could carry and left the farm, trying to get to the coast to escape. In the end, they got cut off by the oncoming Russian front and ending up living as refugees in Germany before they could get sponsored to come to the US years later.

All in all, they ended up better off than many. Many of my relatives had been put on cattle cars by the Russians and were sent to Siberian labor camps. Several didn't even survive the trip there, including some relatives in their 80's and some children. My dad ended up in Berlin with his mother after his father was taken away when he was 7 years old. His side of the story is less clear, since he never talked about it when he was alive, but I do know that he had to survive the nightly Allied bombing by lying in trenches during the air raids and he finally got out of Berlin by clinging to the outside of a train for 11 hours with his mother, who had to struggle to keep him awake through the night so that he wouldn't fall off. I don't know much other than that.

Having heard about what my parents have had to go through, I see movies like "The Lives of Others" with a particular chill, not to mention a bit of added perspective about all the petty things in my life that have been bothering me lately. Those things can go on the back burner and, with any luck, stay there for good.

Oh, and my mother, through an offer by the present government of the country where they came from and lots of sweat, paperwork and red-tape, has now gotten both the family farms back. My grandparents would have been happy to see it.

18 comments:

  1. That film has slipped under my radar - I might have to add it to the list. Thanks for adding some of your family's experiences too - it does put the film, and our lives in general, into more perspective. Congratulations to your mother too - I suspect it was probably a very draining and emotionally exhausting process.

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  2. Wow - That is so interesting and it's really great that you know this stuff about your family history. I know next to nothing about mine...

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  3. I haven't seen that movie but the experiences of your family are just so chilling. How awful for a four year-old to be grilled about visitors and thank goodness for that stroke of luck that kept the bus from coming to take them away too...whew, their experiences would make an amazing movie and their strength is a legacy they've surely passed on to you.

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  4. thisisme-

    It's definitely a very good film. I would highly recommend it.

    Getting back the family property has been a real ordeal for my mom, but I'm glad that the country's government was restoring legal ownership of the land confiscated during the occupation. I'm very proud of her for not just tossing in the towel when things got tough. :)

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  5. erica-

    I actually begged my mother for ages to write down her stories and she finally got around to it. I'm really glad that she did it, too. What I wrote here barely scratches the surface of what life was like for them before and especially during the war.

    I wish that I had gotten my father to talk about his experiences before he passed away. Obviously, now it's too late.

    Have you thought about getting your family stories down on paper or at least recorded somehow?

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  6. liz-

    It's a really good movie. I definitely recommend it.

    There were so many other things that my parents and grandparents went through that I might just do a post on that sometime. This barely even scratches the surface.

    But yes, it's a despicable thing for a paranoid government to do to a child. I can't even imagine how I would feel about someone doing that to my sons. And, yes, it was a huge stroke of luck that the bus just drove away. They never did find out what happened to their neighbors.

    Through it all, my grandparents and mother remained (or became) strong, optimistic, no BS kind of people. I'd like to think that I've inherited some of that, but I was raised here without a war around me... I just have to keep reminding myself of their experiences to regain perspective sometimes.

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  7. Great read, and yes, puts things into perspective.

    Having said that, what do you think of annoying, rude, anon commenters?

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  8. jay-

    Isn't that what the blogosphere is all about? ;)

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  9. tkk-

    It certainly is a timely lesson in perspective since I surely couldn't have gone on moping any longer. ;)

    As for rude anonymous comments, I've been pretty lucky so far. Still, I think that a person should have the courage to own up to their comments. Just my opinion.

    -velvet

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  10. What a chilling story for your family. It is nice to know your family history...and for them to be able to reclaim their farms. But the memories must be difficult at times.

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  11. I am glad that a movie made you realize that there could be worse things in life than middle age. Your grandparents were probably your age when they left their home and possessions to escape the oppressors.

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  12. em-

    I would imagine that the memories are hard for my mother sometimes, but you would never know it. She and her parents are/were the most cheerful and optimistic people I know/knew.

    It really makes me realize sometimes how spoiled my children and I have been by growing up in relative peace and comfort. Hopefully that will never change for all our sakes, but it would be good for them to reflect every once in a while on how hard life is for people in places where peace is elusive.

    -velvet

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  13. ame-

    Yes, they were. ;)

    This doesn't make middle age totally irrelevant, certainly just less important.

    -velvet

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  14. Sweet, always like hearing about good books and movies that I was clueless about - added to my list. Thanks!

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  15. furious-

    Glad that I could help. :)

    -velvet

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  16. Amazing post! I love "real people" history. The image of your father clinging to the outside of a train for 11 hours is absolutely chilling. It's great, though, that you convinced your mother to write down the family stories.

    I recently blogged about a box of my grandparents' wartime letters, which I recovered after they passed and their old house was being sold. It's such a treasure to have a little piece of family history.

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  17. tammie jean-

    Every once in a while, I have to stop and remind myself what my parents went through and how spoiled I am in comparison. That's usually enough for me to get myself back on track.

    I love "real people" history, too. I definitely want to go have a read about your grandparent's letters. Those family voices from the past are truly priceless.

    -velvet

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